The Sunday I watched my father zipped into a body bag and removed from the living room didn’t seem an obvious point at which there would be a change in the relationship I’d witnessed him have with my mother. That morning, he would have been listening to Brahms or Beethoven, maybe Grieg and watching the […]
Secure Attachment
I wrote this piece some years ago but never posted it. I’m not sure why. I came across it this week when I was looking for a systemic family therapist and realised how hard it is to find good therapists with availability. I’m about to do some further training and need to be in therapy […]
How To Feel Loved
The relentless press of time brings around another birthday and finds me having breakfast with my family. Fresh fruit, coffee and pastries adorn the table while my daughter shows me the cake. “You don’t have to eat a piece for breakfast but I can’t stand the suspense of hiding it from you all day.” It’s […]
Why Comparison Is Largely Unhelpful
One day, my therapist asked, “Where does your self-esteem come from?” I looked out through the window into his lush green garden and at the woodlands beyond, wishing myself in amongst the trees. I didn’t know where my self-esteem came from, I just knew that I wasn’t generating much of it from anywhere. There were […]
An Alternative To Burnout
I had a question from a client this week variations of which I receive regularly. “I feel I’ve hit burnout and I don’t know what to do about it.” I opened with something like, “I spent a while wondering how to answer you and thought about it while I walked my dogs and looked at […]
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