Two disparate events moved me to write this week about the drawbacks of stoicism. First, I completed a round-trip of some 15 hours duration to have Daisy’s (my dog) lameness properly diagnosed by a specialist vet who, rather inconveniently, lives in another country. It turns out that she’s been hiding multiple significant musculoskeletal issues (stoically) […]
Read More
In therapy, I am looking out of the window at the gravestones. I didn’t deliberately choose a therapist whose office was in a cemetery but now that I think about it, there is something peaceful and fitting about talking of the past surrounded by the dead. Our conversation is about the need to please my […]
Read More
The Sunday I watched my father zipped into a body bag and removed from the living room didn’t seem an obvious point at which there would be a change in the relationship I’d witnessed him have with my mother. That morning, he would have been listening to Brahms or Beethoven, maybe Grieg and watching the […]
Read More
A number of things have converged this week causing me to think about how we connect to others and, more specifically, the role that agreeableness plays in doing so. The first was a message from my daughter telling me that she’d split up with her boyfriend. They’ve been trying to address their differences for a […]
Read More
On the train, we sit separately because so many people are travelling. From where I am I can look up the carriage towards Martin facing me. He holds up his phone and takes a picture of my withering expression. In these moments I think about how different it could have been had he not stopped […]
Read More
I wrote this piece some years ago but never posted it. I’m not sure why. I came across it this week when I was looking for a systemic family therapist and realised how hard it is to find good therapists with availability. I’m about to do some further training and need to be in therapy […]
Read More
My sister texts me with the news that our brother has returned from ten days in Yorkshire to find that his water tank has been leaking and made the house uninhabitable. The insurance company say it will be a year before he is back home. The last time I saw my brother was when I […]
Read More
I’ve spent much of the past week lying in a hammock reading books being gently caressed by a soft breeze floating in from the river Alde, while thinking about vulnerability and regret. Holidays are, for most of you, I know, a source of great excitement and pleasure, but I don’t really feel that way about […]
Read More
The relentless press of time brings around another birthday and finds me having breakfast with my family. Fresh fruit, coffee and pastries adorn the table while my daughter shows me the cake. “You don’t have to eat a piece for breakfast but I can’t stand the suspense of hiding it from you all day.” It’s […]
Read More
At Weston Super Mare the tide stretches out so far that you can scarcely believe you are on a beach. A strange landscape marked by nothing and which seems to lead to nothing. If eternity is a destination it might look something like this. When the sea turns on its heels and disappears over the […]
Read More
Recent Comments